We can all relate when it comes to people in our past, they’re there for a reason right? But, how did it get to that point? Why did it get to that point? Was there closure? Was it a mutual decision, or did one person manipulate the other person into it? Sometimes we just need to get things off our chest and this is how I feel I can. If you’re feeling that heavy weight on your chest I hope this helps you get it off.
I can only speak for myself and my own situation with what I’ve been through. Thinking long and hard about things I could’ve possibly done or said to have it turn out differently. Eventually I keep coming back to the same answer – It’s not me, IT’S THEM!
So, this… This is an open letter to that person who I once considered a best friend. To the person who hurt me and left me flat on my face for no good reason. And if you’re reading this, this is to you!
A few days ago I came across a Facebook memory of us and I almost text you. Quickly I remembered you’re nothing but a stranger to me now. We used to laugh until we cried. We created the best memories and shared wild secrets. You were my go to person and in the blink of an eye that friendship died.
We were close. We were so close I never thought we would ever get to a point of not speaking. But here we are. I thought a lot about what happened to our friendship and how it ended, how you ended it. I thought about what I would say to you if we would talk again. Mostly I thought I’d be apologizing for what I did and said that was wrong. But that’s the thing, It wasn’t me who was wrong, it was you.
I stuck by you when things got rough and when I thought the choices you were making were absolutely wrong. I stuck by you when you lied about everything, both big and small. I stuck by you when you constantly thought you were better than everyone around you. I always kept it real with you, and I think that’s what you didn’t like most. You didn’t like when I would tell you how I felt, or when I would tell you the choices you were making were going to turn out bad. You didn’t like when I’d call you out on the way you talked to people, but that’s my character and that’s who I am.
I constantly encouraged you to be you, to be yourself, without fabricating your life and stories. I believed in you and the person you really were. Our entire friendship I tried to see the good in you, when the red flags were practically slapping me in the face.
I Forgive You
In all honesty, this letter isn’t to drag you through the mud, although I’m sure that’s how you’ll depict it. This is to tell you, I forgive you. I forgive you for having no reason to leave me hanging. I forgive you for lying to me and the people around us even after you knew I knew the truth. I forgive you for all the nasty things you’ve said about me thinking it wouldn’t get back to me, but also knowing it would. You’re great at making things unbelievably awkward any chance you get, but I forgive you for that too. I forgive you for acting like a child rather than an adult in every situation. But it just goes to show that’s your character as a person. I forgive you for renting positive space in my head and turning it negative.
I can’t say I’ve fully forgiven you for just up and walking out of my life for no reason. That’s what I’m working on now and that’s the last of the forgiving I feel I need to do. Something I live by is, always forgive but never forget, and that’s what I’ll do.
Before I end this, I also want to say thank you. Thank you for being my person for as long as you were. I would like to say I see us being friends again in the future, but I doubt that’s possible. Things will never be the same again. They say, “Some people aren’t meant to stay in your life forever.” Unfortunately you were one of those people who weren’t meant to stay in mine.
I put this as nice and genuine as I possibly could. It’s been a long time coming and I needed to get it off my chest. I sincerely hope you and your family are well, and continue to do well. Just know, our memories will always hold a special place in my heart. You on the other hand will no longer rent anymore space in my head.
Love always, the girl you left behind. XO
If there’s someone in your life who needs to hear this, it’s time you let them know. Stop letting them rent space in your head and hurt in your heart.